Know what you feel.

I think most of Malaysians know who is Ustazah Siti Nor Bahyah Mahamood. So, why am i telling you this? Umm.. Well, nothing much. She recently update her status on facebook and i would like to share it in here. Somehow it open my eyes, heart and mind to remember everything happens for reasons. Live prosper dear friends, and always remember our Creator. Salam.

Assamualaikum sahabat FB ustazah yg dikasihi selalu,
Bagaimana nak kuat bila diuji? Cuba hayati kata-kata ini,
Orang yg kuat jiwanya ialah orang yang melihat gangguan dan tekanan hidup bukan sebagai ancaman kepada dirinya,tetapi sebagai satu latihan ke arah mencapai matlamat hidup iaitu mencari keredhaan ALLAH walaupun terpaksa menempuh berbagai kesusahan dan kesulitan.
Ingatlah sahabatku sekelian, kehidupan ini akan menjadi lebih membahagiakan bila seseorang itu dinaungi rahmat dan kasih sayang ALLAH.

Ya Allah,ampunkanlah aku.. Kerana adakalanya aku salah sangka kpdMU..
Engkau mengujiku kerana luasnya kasihMU padaku.. Tapi aku menyangka Engkau tidak sayang padaku ya Allah..
Ya Allah,berilah aku kebahagiaan yang abadi hingga bertemu denganMU di dalam syurga..
Malunya aku meminta syurga dariMU ya Allah kerana banyaknya dosaku padaMU..
Namun aku yakin dengan kasih sayangMU yang pasti menerima taubat para hambaMU..
Ampunkanlah segala dosa kami ya Allah..
Terimalah taubat kami ya Allah..
Ya Allah,bimbinglah kami selalu..
Agar kami sentiasa menuju redhaMU, Amin..

Another heart-loving support from a dear friend, Farahin Rosli. I can always count on her. 

p/s: you can just simply click the photo to get a better view. dia akan enlarge.

The wheels go round and round.

I had enough of drama and conflicts going on and now, what's getting worst is being tortured mentally and punishing me for some ridiculous reasons. I'm fucking tired and my temper is getting higher. I understand so much if they *whoever i may refer to* don't wanna be involve with my situation, my decision and my life. I get it okay! You don't wanna be ashamed nor disappointed. But should i ask when i already know the truth? When i'm not asking, i'm the rude one? The snobby arrogant little crap that doesn't know how to be grateful? But when i'm asking, i got tons of nagging and rant from you about how stupid i am back in the old days, how ungrateful i was, useless and unchanged. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO LIVE WITH THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE? Either way, i'm the culprit. Is this the way chance should be given? I don't deserve any chances? Then, don't care. Don't even give a damn view! I'm trying to be strong. I'm trying to prove that i can live with my own decision! I'm trying to show to everybody that i am worth to be proud for. It's up to you to know or not. I might not have much strength right now, but i know my friends are there for me. They rise me up with advises and talks when you bring me down with harsh words and condemns.


Dear Allah, forgive me for this rage, for my sins to my mother and father, for my past, i'm very upset for what have happened. I only seeks your forgiveness and blessing when nobody is there for me, i felt contempt and terrible, help me Allah, open their hearts to be closer to you, and soften their hearts to see the goodness in me rather than the ugly side of my past.


I hope this too shall pass. I'm not forcing anyone to help me, my nawaitu is to further my studies, to succeed and not giving any burden to anyone. I've learned my mistakes, please learn yours. It's not a big deal to me if no one cares now, the only matter is i care and i care to fix what needs to be fixing. I'll be happy if i can make them proud of me. Segalanya yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya. With Allah's will, salam.

Thanks you guys, even it's not much, it's better to have your supports at this moment.

Quotes, Speaks for me, you, us.

"Forgiveness is the final form of love." -Reinhold Niebuhr

"Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do." -Orison Swett Marden

"Men's best successes come after their disappointments." -Henry Ward Beecher

Dear, read.

One step after another

First and foremost, let me be grateful to Allah s.w.t for giving me the opportunity to continue my studies, insyaAllah. I accepted an offer letter from Uitm. Received a course that's not in my top 3 list, but I manage to like it as well. Alhamdulillah. And I'm ready to go on with it.

Secondly, there's too many things happened. Frankly, I can't bear all of it. Only Allah knows how miserable everything were in a few months ago. This time, let me kept it to myself and I pray and hope for the best to happen, sooner or later.

I don't have a lot of things to say in here even there's million things scattered in my mind. But, there's still one thing i would like to mention about. As you can see my blog became much more simpler and i purposely remove the old pictures of me because i didn't cover my aurah, this time insyaAllah, i determine to be 'covered'. I'm still learning, I'm doing this slowly so that i'll always be sincere to do every good deeds because of Allah. Please don't judge me, thank you (:

Salam.

Being weak teach us to be strong

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Did you forget, about me?
Did you regret, ever standing by my side?
Did you forget we were feeling inside?
Now i'm left to forget.. about us.

But somewhere we went wrong.
We were once so strong.
Our love is like a song, you can't forget it.
So i guess this is where we have to stand.
Did you regret ever holding my hand?
Never again, please don't forget, don't forget.

We had it all, we were just about to fall.
Even more in love, than we were before.
I wont forget, wont forget about us.
And at last all the pictures have been burned.
And all the past is just a lesson that we've learnt.
I wont forget, please don't forget about us.

-Demi Lovato.

Note to self

From the blogger of http://www.noktahhitam.com/


First and foremost, an immense amount of determination is required. If you are half-hearted and impatient , just stay away, be fat and shut up about it . I can safely say, you’ll see the results in 1 months. Get a partner and lose weight together.

Did I say 10kg? Well, I meant any amount of kg, as long as you do it right. If you’re categorized as obese, you’d lose a lot more.

Eating rice is a sin. Rice is a necessity for Malaysian. Not many can survive a day without rice. Rice is the biggest contributor of carbohydrate in our routine meals. In this diet, you are forbid to eat rice and other derivatives of rice, like mee hoon etc. For better results, skip any food which contains carbohydrate.

Sugar is also a sin. It’s almost impossible to avoid sugar in our daily lives. When you’re out with your friends, drink plain tea (no sugar or milk). Also no snack and tit-bits at all time.

No Oil and Fast Food. Stay away from deep-fry dishes or anything that requires oil. Your meal must be boiled, grilled or steamed. Yeah, also no fast food, they contain tonnes of oils.

Eating right. Remember, eating right is the key to losing weight. There is 5 meals a day, breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper. Don’t ever skip any.

Exercise (optional). Burn more fat while you’re at it. Jog for 15-30 minutes. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk a lot more than often. Public transport helps too.

What to eat? Anything that contains protein but be sure to limit the amount of consumption. E.g. it’d be close to stupid if you had a whole chicken for lunch. Drink a lot of plain mineral water.


And this is from myself :-

My planning for personal diet.


Breakfast – 2 half boiled eggs or a bowl of cereal. Low fat milk.
Lunch – Vegetable or salad and fruits. Mineral water.
Tea - Tea or any hot beverage and high fiber biscuits. 
Dinner – Steamed fish / yong tau fu / grilled chicken.
Supper - Low fat milk and high fiber biscuits. 


Within these few months before going back into college / Uni, i need to put efforts in rebuilding my body figure to be more healthy and more comfortable in dressing up. Dad always says, people nowadays are prejudice and discriminate. They judge you by your appearance first. I hate to say this, but being fat wont help you getting good job and being attractive. Most important, be healthy. Together, remind yourself, friends and family.